So, the Philadelphia 76ers have announced plans to hire a "ticket guru" to help boost attendance, according to the blog "Crossing Broad." Apparently, slipping two places in the NBA attendance rankings was more of a wake-up call than the fact that the Sixers, well, sucked last season, as indicated by the 27-55 record. So, instead of thinking about signing even a servicable free agent with some talent, the Sixers instead hire one Joseph Ondrejko as "vice president of ticket sales."
Let's just say that Mr. Ondrejko's job will be slightly more lonely than the Maytag repairman. Or the presiding district judge at Chesterbrook District Court (the slowest district court in Chester County).
The Sixers had the 25th best attendance out of 30 teams in the 2009-2010 NBA season (14,224 fans per game), which was a decline from the mediocre 2008-2009 season, when the team ranked 23rd (15,802 fans per game). Guess the Allen Iverson experiment of putting butts in the seats didn't work as well as putting butts in the seats did in the late 1990's for the World Wrestling Federation (now WWE) after Mick Foley won the WWF(E) title during a taped episode of WWF Raw in 1999 (click on the link to understand the "butts in the seats reference").
Well, as if the Sixers, who lucked their way into the second overall pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, didn't need any more advice, allow me to offer some. For free, no less:
How about putting five guys on the basketball court who can actually play at a professional level? No matter how much you hate the Celtics (personally, I can tolerate the Celtics; the Lakers, not so much - maybe it was the 10 years I spent living in New England before returning home to Philly), at least they have more than a bunch of big-time superstar players (Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen), including the most underrated superstar in the NBA, one Rajon Rondo. (Okay, they also have Rasheed Wallace, but at least during the Flyers-Bruins series, he knew how to represent Philly.)
Wow, five talented players on the court at the same time? What a concept.
Of course, if that fails, you can always put a Five Guys burger stand in the food court at The Center. After all, if it's good enough for Exton Square Mall, it's gotta be good enough for The Center. (Oh, and if you have to ask "which Center", you're not a true Philly sports fan.)
Not for nothing, but would you believe that the Chicago Bulls - who don't exactly jump out as an elite franchise than that Jordan dude retired - had the best attendance in the NBA last season? And "Duh Bulls" - at 41-41 - barely made the playoffs. Seriously. Cleveland, Portland, Dallas, and the Knicks (seriously? The Knicks?) round out the top five.
(Worst attendance, not so shockingly: The East Rutherford/Exit 16W/Soon to be Brooklyn by way of Newark Nyets, who drew 13,103 fans per game at the dump off the Jersey Turnpike.)
Of course, Comcast Spectacor shouldn't have to look too far for tips on how to improve attendance at Sixers games - other than putting out a good product. The Flyers, who the last time I checked were co-tenants at The Center, had the fourth best attendance in the NHL (19,535 per game). Of course, having a team that knows how to win helps. (The top five NHL teams in attendance this season - Chicago, Montreal, Detroit, Flyers, Calgary; Toronto came a close 6th despite having the 2nd worst record in the NHL.)
By the way, Ed Stefanski, my idea is such a great one, you should hire me as a "guru." If President Obama can hire 400+ "czars" to run the government, you can certainly spring for a couple more "gurus" to make the Sixers look better.
Moving on...
Phillies played like crap last night and now there's talk that Chase Utley might miss a few games with an injured thumb. And where was Kyle Kendrick last night? I don't really want to talk about it, other than the fact that Kendrick wasn't himself last night. Then again, who the hell knows who he was last night? For that matter, who outside of Ohio actually thought that the Reds were actually a decent team?
Oh, well, we'll get them tomorrow...
Random sports transaction of the day: Providence College names Kevin Gamble "coordinator of player development and video operations for men's basketball." Yeah, like that's going to help the Friars get out of the cellar of the Big East. That wouldn't happen to be one of those "we're just going to create a long job title so it makes our new hire seem more important" hirings, would it?
Okay, I'm done ranting for now. Maybe later I'll post some non-sports related stuff...
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