RECAP OF ALL STAR HOME RUN DERBY (Round 1)

Now, for the benefit of those who have yet to become followers of me on Twitter, here’s a recap of my running commentary from last night’s first round of Major League Baseball’s Home Run Derby.  Unfortunately, some technical issues prevented me from covering the final two rounds, but it looked pretty obvious that David Ortiz was going to win, much to the delight of Red Sox Nation.

Anyone who has ever read Bill Simmons’ columns at ESPN.com may recognize the format, up to and including a few references that you may or may not understand.  This is just a sampling of what you will encounter when your humble blogger gets into gear for football season.

My #Home Run Derby prediction: Chris Berman will annoy the hell out of me and lots of homers will be hit #Duh

The obligatory warning that Chris Berman is about to butcher yet another telecast for ESPN.

I don't want to say #Train was bad, but they should rename themselves "Vespa". #WorstTrainFailSinceSEPTAR5

I would've rather heard @SonOfADeitch @ToddZolecki duet of "Purple Rain" with @ryanlawrence21 on backup #vuvuzula than #EpicTrainWreck

@KevinMcAlpin @CrossingBroad I'm trying to remember the last time Train was relevant... This may take a while

While I didn't hear the actual performance, I did read a lot of the comments on my Twitter feed.  Suffice to say that it was not exactly one of the best performances in sports event history.  Kinda ranks right up there with the Destiny's Child fiasco at Game 4 of the NBA Finals at the Center.  Remember when some of the girls came out wearing Laker colors at what was a 76ers home game?

By the way, when was the last time that Train actually came out with a good song?  I can't seem to remember.  The reference to "Purple Rain" is an inside joke between a couple of columnists who in recent days have been commenting about various karaoke performances over the years.  I'd explain it more, but you have to follow me on Twitter...

First round of #HomeRunDerby: Chris Young (ARZ), Vernon Wells (TOR), Corey Hart (MIL), Nick Swicher (NYY) ...

#HomeRunDerby lineup cont.: Matt Holliday (STL), "Lil' Cuz" (BOS), Hanley Ramierez (FLA), Miguel Cabrera (DET)

The starting line-up... Self explanatory.

Chris Young (ARZ): 1 (or as many HR as Matt Stairs in '08 NLCS) #Homerunderby #MLB #YesAMattStairsReferenceInHRDerbyTweet

So how does this Chris Young guy get into Home Run Derby and neither Ryan Howard, Joey Votto, or Albert Pujols take part?  Meanwhile, I couldn't resist a Matt Stairs reference after Young's epic fail first round.  After all, Stairs only hit the most important home run in Philadelphia sports history since 1980...

Wells (TOR): 2; 1, 1 HR (hahaha); 2, 2 HR (hahaha) #Homerunderby #MLB #CountVonCount

The first two #HomeRunDerby participants were paying tribute to the #WorldCup final with their low output

Wells wasn't muich better in his first round effort than Young was.  So we went from 1 home run to 2 home runs.  Pretty natural segue, right?  That is, if you remember Sesame Street.

BTW, the #HomeRunDerby tracker at mlb.com - far superior to espn.com. TAKE THAT STUPID SCOTT!

There were stretches when I wondered if espn.com was actually working last night.  They seemed to lag significantly with the updates.  However, mlb.com not only had it's live home run tracker working, they also had the ESPN feed from the Home Run Derby.  Which is how I was able to keep track of the first round last night.  Thumbs up, mlb.com!

Hart (MIL): 13; If only the rest of the Brewers were more interesting than the sausage racers #HomeRunDerby #MLB #BratwurstsTopSupporter

Wasn't it just a couple of years ago when the Beermakers were actually a playoff contender?  Just saying.  Anyway, Corey Hart didn't exactly stick with the pattern as far as home run counts were concerned.  Although, there was a "3" at the end of his count, so the pattern kinda held true.


Speaking of mlb.com, they're running a live feed of ESPN's coverage of #HomeRunDerby; feel free to mute Berman and A-Rod

Correction: Feel free to mute Berman and "A-Roid" #HomeRunDerby #RepairingBotchedJoke #OhAndJoeMorganToo

@phillykelly i think everyone would be more happy if i took chris berman's job.

@phillykelly I know I would be... You and @hewish with @SonOfADeitch doing the interviewing #ChicksDigLongBall #HomeRunDerby

See later in this post for a link to Berman's "greatest hits" - such as they are.  One of my followers, Kelly Bloor, offered the suggestion that she took Berman's jobs.


You know, Berman was funny about 25 years ago when I was much younger.  Now, not so much.  Berman is the sportscasting equivalent of 50,000 vuvuzulas going at full blast.

Swisher (NYY): 4; Well, it was almost numerical order if Hart would've hit 10 fewer (1, 2, 13, 4) #HomeRunDerby #MLB #Numerology

The pattern has returned! Yay!


WHOA! What's with that dude in the Angels jersey with the Mohawk? Perhaps the only #Train fan at Angel Stadium #HomeRunDerby #BadHairDay

Seriously.  This dude was wearing an Angels jersey and had a mohawk dyed in Angels red.  Ye gods...


Holliday (STL): 5; For those who had Holliday as your winner, you're in pretty good shape right now #HomeRunDerby #MLB #GoodPredictionFiles

That would've been Epic Fail City had Holliday not rattled off four in a row to finish #HomeRunDerby #MLB #ComebackKid

Holliday was down to his last out when he ripped off four home runs in a row.  Several prognosticators had chosen Holliday to win Home Run Derby and it had looked as though those prognosticators would have been off.  And, to make things more interesting, the pattern continued!



I didn't realize that David Ortiz was having a better year than I thought... So much of that "Lil' Cuz" crack earlier #HomeRunDerby #MLB

Young and Wells are eliminated. Bye fellas. #HomeRunDerby #MLB #Blanton'd (early exit references)

Ortiz (BOS): 8; Not quite "Big Papi" yet ... more like "Older Bro" (hope this is @phillykelly approved) #HomeRunDerby #MLB #CheckForRoids

I guess this shows how much attention I've been paying to the Red Sox this season.  I knew that Ortiz was struggling a little bit at the start of the season, but 18 ding-dong-kabooms at the All Star break isn't too bad.  I had made the "Lil Cuz'" crack not knowing this, so I slowly promoted him to "Older Bro".  Round two kinda put Ortiz back to "Big Papi" status again...


HanRam needs five to send that Yankee home... Anyone outside of NYC okay with this? #HomeRunDerby #MLB #IfYouDidntKnowIHateTheYankees

Hanley Ramirez - he of the lack of hustle that resulted in his benching earlier in the season - would've made 90 percent of baseball fans very happy if he advanced to the next round by getting more than 5 home runs.


Will Ferrell: Very funny in Anchorman. Other than that ... meh #HomeRunDerby #MLB #WillFerrell

Again, self explanatory.  Although a lot of people tell me that Ferrell was more entertaining than Berman was during his appearance on the telecast.  Again, I wouldn't know, I had the telecast on mute.  Anyway, I thought Ferrell was hilarious in "Anchorman" but I found some of his other movies ("Talladaga Nights" comes to mind) less funny than some of his Saturday Night Live work.  Not that I particularly care for SNL to begin with...


It is high, it is far, Swisher is Goooooone!!! Yankee loses, THHHHEEEEE YANKEE LOSES!!! #HomeRunDerby #MLB #BadJohnSterlingImpressions

This was after HanRam's 6th home run sent Swisher home.  I always love taking shots at the worst baseball announcer in the world (yes, Phillies Nation, there are worse announcers than Chris Wheeler).

Ramirez (FLA): 9; As long as he doesn't do that against the #Phillies, I'm okay with this...

Oh, and it's raining again in West Chester... Consider yourself warned, Delaware Valley #WeatherAlert

As soon as I wrote this, another band of rainstorms barrelled through West Chester.  Anyway, as long as HanRam doesn't go ding-dong-kaboom against the Phightins, I really don't have a problem with him taking out a member of the Evil Empire in the Home Run Derby.

Holliday is now over; back to work, St Louis #HomeRunDerby #MLB #WillAvoidTheObligitoryMadonnaJoke #hrderby

HanRam also knocked out Holliday, ending his Home Run Derby.  I was so tempted to break out the Madonna song, but opted not to.

Cabrera (DET): 7; And that conlcudes the first round coverage of #HomeRunDerby, I'm ctrabs74... #MLB

@ToddZolecki at the editors desk, our engineer @SonOfADeitch, and your conductors @phillykelly @hewish @kchristine #spoofingkyw1060andSEPTA

You know when KYW News Radio does their "You give us 22 minutes" line at :15 and :45 after every hour before the sports report?  The announcer typically runs down who's at the editors desk and who the engineer is.  Anyway, you know you can't really run a SEPTA Regional Rail train without a conductor and ticket collectors, right?

For those intrested, it's NL 28, AL 21 after Round 1; No reported Drew Brees sightings, though #HomeRunDerby #MLB #AlmostFootballSeasonYAY

Or, as Jayson Stark was quick to point out, it was the same number of total home runs (49) that were hit in the first round of last year's Home Run Derby.  Unfortunately, I couldn't cover the rest of the derby because:

Computer acting up at bad time; lost feed. GRRR. Well, I guess that wraps up my #HomeRunDerby coverage for tonight...

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

@Phanatical Everytime we get hit with a "back back back back!" I answer with "quack quack quack quack!" Can't help it! #HRDerby #ASG #MLB

In case anyone wanted to endure torture not involving a vuvuzula, here's what Phanatical was talking about.

In closing, though, I guess it's safe to say Ortiz goes through to the finals... #HomeRunDerby #MLB #JustAHunch

That was pretty much a foregone conclusion after the second round.  It may be safe to say that "Big Papi" is once again "Big Papi" much to Kelly's dismay (sorry, babe).

In any event, the next posting will be sometime tomorrow, though I have no idea what I will be blogging about yet...